Captaincy Chaos

Gameweek Three will be remembered as the week the choices of captains had a dramatic impact on the fortunes of the League of Gentlemen managers. It was a dream for the few that nominated Salah; the rest suffered a true FPL Nightmare.

Oh, how the FPL Gods have chuckled this weekend. Following Newcastle’s hiding away at Norwich, nine of the managers in the League of Gentlemen selected Harry Kane as their captain, with three Wildcarding to bring him in, and one opting to use their Triple Captain chip. An early chance to gain an advantage, they thought, against a Newcastle team devoid of tactics and energy. They reckoned against the acumen of Steve Bruce, who reverted to the formation which led to the Geordies being one of the meanest defences in the league last season, and watched in horror as Kane was rendered irrelevant. Throughout the match, he dropped deeper and deeper, forgetting he was meant to be a predatory striker in order to do a crap impression of Christian Eriksen. His sole opportunity came from six yards out towards the end of the game, a chance which he contrived to scuff about six yards off the target. The Kane owners cry he should have had a penalty, though they’ll know that an elite striker, instead of throwing himself to the floor when an opponent slips, puts the ball in the net. That’s what a predator like Pukki does, and that’s why Pukki is outscoring Kane dramatically so far.

The captaincy chaos didn’t end with Kane, however. Two managers placed their trust in Marcus Rashford, and could not believe their eyes when he missed a penalty and returned zero points. One of those managers could only have gained ten points from their captain, yet the other had Mo Salah score 15 big ones, while also having Sterling and Pukki in their squad. Logic suggests they’ll be sticking with the duo of Sterling and Salah as their captain from now on; when your captain choice can add 250+ points to your final total, it just isn’t worth risking it on anyone but the true elite FPL stars.

This was Lawezarus Rising’s thinking, when they placed the captaincy on Sterling. A nice, solid choice. Get that armband on the man that will finish in the top-two points scorers in the game. We closed our browser and went about our day, relaxed in the knowledge our team was sorted. Oh, how the FPL Gods chortled. Loading up the website at 7:50pm to see the squad selections, our heart sank as we realised we’d made the most basic of errors: We’d forgotten to press ‘Save Team’ after making Sterling captain. Our armband was draped around the bicep of the notoriously-patchy Firmino. We prayed for a miracle, a flukey differential advantage, but the FPL Gods don’t answer prayers borne of stupidity, and Firmino offered no returns. This is a mistake that simply cannot afford to be repeated.

In other news, despite all the evidence laid out before them, only eight managers in the League of Gentlemen own Teemu Pukki. Thirteen managers were punished for failing to bring him in, as he returned eleven points. With five goals and an assist in three games, two of which were Liverpool and Chelsea, surely the fantastic Finn cannot be denied for much longer. Sometimes, it’s not about signing players to gain an advantage, it’s about bringing them in to stop them hurting you. Despite mid-price striker options like Haller, Abraham and Barnes emerging, Pukki remains the must-have. Get him now, before his price rises even further.
With that being said, let’s look at each team in the League of Gentlemen in order, from bottom to top. As you will see, despite the increased competition the cream is rising, even earlier than normal.

The League of Gentlemen:
Weekly Round-Up.

21st: Rodallega Bombs – Aidan Thompson.

After missing the GW1 deadline to submit a team, and a poor score last time out, the Rodallega Bombs started the gameweek with only 25 points from two weeks. Double-figure returns from Aguero and van Aanholt led to a solid return of 43 points this weekend, though Thompson will be ruing the decision to start perennial Watford substitute Sarr over Vardy, a decision which cost him seven points. When you give everyone a week head-start, you simply have to get these decisions correct. It’s going to be a hard season for the Bombs, but with two free transfers to use this week, there’s still time to turn it around.


GW Transfers: None.
GW Points: 43.
Overall Points: 68.
Overall Ranking: 5,898,844.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


20th: PKG FC – Parvesh Geerish.

Parvesh made two very good transfers this week, taking a four-point hit to secure eleven-point Pukki and six-point James in place of minus-two Andone and one-point Eriksen. This should have been a net score of fourteen points, but the decision to leave James on the bench meant it was only an eight-point gain. Alongside Pukki, returns from Wilson, Pulisic and Jimenez led Parvesh to an above-average 45 points. Being 67 points off the top in just three weeks means Parvesh will need to make the right choices from now on, lest the title get too out of reach. His weak defence has been rescued by no defenders really firing so far, but with eight viable starters for seven attacking positions, the pressure is on for PKG FC to nail their starting XI each week.


GW Transfers: Two (Pukki in, Andone out; James in, Eriksen out).
GW Points: 45.
Overall Points: 126.
Overall Ranking: 4,451,202.
Total Hits Taken: One (-4 points).
Chips Used: None.


19th: Micky Quinnaj: Jonathan ‘Jie’ Johnstone.

Returns from McGinn, Jimenez and captain Sterling kept Jie in the hunt, though he must surely be regretting bringing King in as his Carroll replacement, rather than Pukki or Abraham. His squad has favourable fixtures over the next few weeks, and with £3m in the bank, he has considerable scope for investment in the transfer market. A small hit to replace Tielemans and Richarlison with Salah and Cantwell could reap huge dividends.


GW Transfers: One (King in, Carroll out).
GW Points: 41.
Overall Points: 131.
Overall Ranking: 4,148,206.
Total Hits Taken: One (-4 points).
Chips Used: None.


18th: Really – Adam Birkett.

A disappointing start to the season continues for Birkett, with his 24-point gameweek score being the lowest in the League of Gentlemen. His only returns were assists from de Bruyne and Aubameyang, and even they were offset by zero-point scores from Wan-Bissaka and Rashford, who he made the disastrous decision to captain. On paper he has a strong first team, yet it’s more a team for FIFA than FPL. Bernardo Silva will never be a major points-getter; paired with Neves in midfield, there are just too few avenues for returns. With £2.5m in the bank, he has scope for improvement, and should seriously consider an early Wildcard to reshape his squad. However, unless he abandons his no-Liverpool policy, it’s hard to see how Birkett can reach the upper echelons of the table.


GW Transfers: One (Ceballos in, Lo Celso out).
GW Points: 24.
Overall Points: 133.
Overall Ranking: 3,999,678.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


17th: Farcselona – ‘Metal’ Marc Farquhar.

A disaster of a week for Metal Marc, who used his Wildcard and saw it lead to the second-lowest score in the league, just one point more than Birkett. His FPL nightmare was compounded by seeing his last-choice substitute, van Aanholt, score a last-minute winner at Old Trafford, a moment which led to his starting defender Wan-Bissaka scoring zero while ten points wasted away on his bench. Using a Wildcard to bring in two non-playing substitutes when options like Lundstram and Kelly are out there is a strange decision, one which leaves Farcselona with little room for error. Tipped to struggle at the start of the season, Metal Marc is doing little to defy those predictions. Needs a big week next weekend.


GW Transfers: Wildcard.
GW Points: 25.
Overall Points: 135.
Overall Ranking: 3,823,730.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Wildcard (GW3).


16th: Walney Utd – Andrew ‘Wooden Spoon’ Helling.

A quiet week for Wooden Spoon, with no transfers made and a score of 38 points. His decision to continue captaining Ings instead of Salah backfired, when Salah scored ten points more than his former team-mate. Should Walney Utd captain Ings for a third successive week, it would strongly suggest that Helling has given up the ghost already. If the armband remains on the Southampton man for the rest of the season, then Helling will be favourite to secure the Wooden Spoon title for yet another year. The race to the bottom between Walney Utd, Rodallega Bombs and Farcselona promises to be as exciting as the fight for the title.


GW Transfers: None.
GW Points: 38.
Overall Points: 139.
Overall Ranking: 3,525,310.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


15th: Does It Matter? – Ben ‘Hitman’ Hodgson.

The fightback begins for Does It Matter, with Hitman Hodgson choosing to deploy his Wildcard before the situation deteriorated further. One of those who fell into the Kane trap, he faces a tough decision as to whether to retain him or use a double-transfer to bring in Sterling. Three decisions cost the Hitman this week – captaining Kane over Salah, starting Coleman over Cantwell and starting Moutinho over Wilson. These three decisions resulted in the Hitman missing out on 24 points, which would have left him on the cusp of the top ten. With a solid squad and strength in depth on the bench, it shouldn’t be long before Does It Matter? reside higher in the table.


GW Transfers: Wildcard.
GW Points: 47.
Overall Points: 141.
Overall Ranking: 3,405,988.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Wildcard (GW3).


14th: Cows Arse Shovel – Craig ‘Flash’ Whear.

After a great season last year, Flash has suffered from a slow start this time out. He will be immensely frustrated by taking a hit to replace Salah with Kane, only to see the Egyptian score 13 points more. While Martial’s assist limits the damage, Flash will be wishing he’d made no transfers at all. Bringing in Lundstram for Rico is a sensible move; even if Lundstram resides on his bench, his value will rise while Rico’s will fall. Sterling and de Bruyne provided Flash’s only other returns, while his substitute keeper outscored his starter by five points. Flash has enough experience not to panic, though how long he sticks with Calvert-Lewin and Perez remains to be seen. The temptation to take a hit will be there, though having taken one this week, Flash needs to avoid it becoming a habit.


GW Transfers: Three (Martial in, Salah out; Kane in, King out; Lundstram in, Rico out).
GW Points: 34.
Overall Points: 156.
Overall Ranking: 2,195,920.
Total Hits Taken: One (-4 points).
Chips Used: None.


13th: Hugh G. Rection XI – Gavin ‘Masterchef’ Bridges.

A disaster for Masterchef, who used his Triple Captain chip on Kane for a return of just six points. His only returns came through assists for Pulisic, de Bruyne and new signing Maddison. Having got rid of both his Everton assets, he chose to bring in Maupay for Kean instead of the popular Pukki. While Maupay is a player of potential, the fact he plays Manchester City, Chelsea and Tottenham in his next five fixtures, combined with Pukki’s sensational form, suggest this is a move that could seriously backfire. Tarkowski and Maupay aside, his players have favourable games next weekend, which could see Hugh G. Rection XI benefit from having such different players to most. With £1.9m in the bank, there must be temptation to strengthen his bench, with a possible Willems to Digne transfer having a potentially huge upside. An interesting week lies ahead.


GW Transfers: Two (Maddison in, Sigurdsson out; Maupay in, Kean out).
GW Points: 31.
Overall Points: 159.
Overall Ranking: 1,928,445.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Triple Captain (GW3).


12th: Cuthben87 – ‘Ginger’ Ben Cuthbertson.

Inexperience showed again for Ginger Ben, who brought in Jota for Origi then inexplicably started Dendoncker ahead of him, while leaving Jota as his third substitute. The question is whether he changed it then forgot to save his team, or whether he thought Kelly and Barkley were better options from the bench than Jota. If it’s the latter, you have to wonder why he bothered bringing Jota in. Despite this, it was a strong gameweek from the ginger debutante, with his sensible captaincy of Salah, coupled with vice-captain Aguero, bringing in 43 points between them. With perhaps a record-low ownership of the Manchester City striker, the Argie Assassin could be crucial in firing Cuthben87 up the table. Whether he continues to invest £8.5m in the low-scoring rotation risk Bernardo Silva is perhaps the key question facing him this week.


GW Transfers: One (Jota in, Origi out).
GW Points: 58.
Overall Points: 161.
Overall Ranking: 1,809,962.
Total Hits Taken: Three (-12 points).
Chips Used: None.


11th: Lawezarus Rising – Andrew ‘FPL Nightmare’ Lawes.

One team we know failed to save their selection was Lawezarus Rising, who saw the failure to confirm Sterling as captain result in them failing to hit the half-century for the gameweek. Gambling on Firmino, Son and Martial over Kane, Mane and Cantwell didn’t really pay off, though it only cost one point in the end. Choosing not to work Salah into the team during a Wildcard week was the biggest error; should Lawes have selected Cantwell and Salah over Martial and Son, captaining the Egyptian would have seen the Rising in second place right now, rather than 30 points off the pace in 11th. This week promises to be a real test of Lawes’ no-hits masterplan; whether he breaks his vow for Salah, or sticks with the system and the courage of his pre-season convictions, could end up defining the Rising’s entire season. Despite this, returns from de Bruyne, Martial, Sterling and Pukki resulted in the gameweek-average score of 44, and a rise up the League of Gentlemen table.


GW Transfers: Wildcard.
GW Points: 44.
Overall Points: 163.
Overall Ranking: 1,585,112.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Wildcard (GW3).


10th: Tiptoppers – ‘Slick’ Rick McLean.

Another red arrow for the Tiptoppers, who will be hoping the slickness of Rick doesn’t result in continuing slide down the table. McLean has a solid squad, however, and they should start securing higher points totals soon. Torreira, Sterling and Wilson provided returns, but the lack of contributions elsewhere resulted in a below-average 36 points for the week. With two free transfers to play with, he will be deliberating whether to strengthen a poor bench, or whether to replace the underperforming Zaha and Bernardo Silva. Should he do neither, it would suggest a lost interest in the game, which could lead to serious problems for the Tiptoppers.


GW Transfers: None.
GW Points: 36.
Overall Points: 165.
Overall Ranking: 1,457,719.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Triple Captain (GW1).


9th: Madelaine Milan – Dale ‘Iceman’ Newton.

The Iceman made one transfer this week, and saw it pay off, with Martial outscoring Richarlison. Further returns from Maddison and Sterling weren’t enough to prevent another red arrow, with his captaincy of Kane proving the biggest hindrance to a high score. Madelaine Milan have a strong squad, with three premium players, balance across the rest of the team and a solid, all-playing bench. Injuries to Walker-Peters, Martial and Saint-Maximin, however, could lead to enforced changes. Despite a potential mini-crisis, if the Iceman can keep his cool, he should see a higher points total next weekend.


GW Transfers: One (Martial in, Richarlison out).
GW Points: 35.
Overall Points: 173.
Overall Ranking: 938,975.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


8th: White Warriors – Laurence ‘Who’ Horner.

Another strong week from the White Warriors saw returns from Azpilicueta, Salah, Pukki and new signing Mount, who justified his selection with a goal and will surely see his price rise this week. Another who will be regretting the captaincy of Kane, whose poor performance was compounded for Who Horner by the fifteen points scored by his vice-captain. Had he captained Salah and started Wilson over Milivojevic, he’d be top of the league right now. Nevertheless, Who Horner won’t be concerned. With all chips retained and £3.4m in the bank, there is considerable scope for improvement, which is especially needed in his midfield. Milivojevic to de Bruyne is the most obvious choice, though Who Horner traditionally treads his own path. Will have everyone above him looking over their shoulder, especially knowing how nothing will lead to him losing his cool.


GW Transfers: One (Mount in, Pereyra out).
GW Points: 54.
Overall Points: 174.
Overall Ranking: 894,330.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


7th: Oxsmorons – Daniel ‘The Ox’ Oxley.

A double-Manchester United defence backfired this week for The Ox, with de Gea and Wan-Bissaka bringing in one point between them. This was offset by van Aanholt’s winner securing ten points. Beyond that, only de Bruyne and Sterling returned for Oxsmorons, though the captaincy armband was on Raheem the Dream, which boosted The Ox’s gameweek total. Really needs to upgrade Rodrigo, who is showing nothing to suggest he will be an FPL asset, but the problem The Ox faces is that he has three non-playing substitutes and only £0.2m in the bank. A big week ahead to prevent further red arrows, and may even be a contender to use his Wildcard.


GW Transfers: One (Van Dijk in, Delph out).
GW Points: 41.
Overall Points: 180.
Overall Ranking: 592,076.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


6th: Boom Xhakalaka – Simon ‘All Star’ Vogt.

Use of the Wildcard means that All Star has used two of his chips in the opening three weeks. While he’d argue it was to gain an early advantage, with hindsight you have to wonder whether he wishes he had kept his powder dry. Another who suffered the frustration of captaining Kane over Salah, what made it particularly bad for Vogt is that he broke his no-Spurs policy for the second time this season to do it. Returns from Martial and Vardy ensured a solid, if unspectacular weekend, and interest now turns to see how Boom Xhakalaka navigate the gameweek ahead. With only Kelly as a playing substitute, the knock to Martial will provide immense concern.


GW Transfers: Wildcard.
GW Points: 45.
Overall Points: 181.
Overall Ranking: 538,448.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Triple Captain (GW1), Wildcard (GW3).


5th: Suicide Squad – Mike ‘Mikey P’ Paterson.

A great gameweek for the Suicide Squad, who secured the second-highest gameweek total in the League of Gentlemen. Big returns from Salah and Pukki, coupled with solid scores from Sterling and Barnes, saw Mikey P emerge as a manager with real potential. Despite this, he’ll be pondering what could have been, knowing captaining Salah over Sterling and starting Heaton over Ryan would have secured an extra 12 points and a first-place position in the table. Having taken a twenty-point penalty last time out, the Suicide Squad have overcome their self-imposed disadvantage to position themselves nicely for a title push, while showing the rest of the league how taking hits can be an advantage. The lack of playing substitutes will be a cause for concern, though with two free transfers, it’s one the Suicide Squad can easily deal with. A real contender.


GW Transfers: None.
GW Points: 61.
Overall Points: 182.
Overall Ranking: 529,129.
Total Hits Taken: Five (-20 points).
Chips Used: Bench Boost (GW2).


4th: Dumb and Dummett – Stephen ‘Big Steve’ Allison.

After dropping below his usual standards last season, Big Steve started the season with a point to prove, and he’s began this year with real intent. He used two free transfers to bring in Pukki and Cantwell for Gundogan and Joelinton, with the men from Norwich supplementing returns from Aguero, Alexander-Arnold, de Bruyne and Salah. Alas, Cantwell was on the bench for Dumb and Dummett, though they still secured a League of Gentlemen high of 65 points this weekend. What’s scary for the rest of the division is that, had Big Steve captained Salah and started Dubravka, Schar and Cantwell over Pope, Dunk and Jorginho, then Dumb and Dummett would have secured 92 points this week, and they would be 17 points clear at the top. With Big Steve unlikely to make many mistakes in the future, the rest of the division has well and truly been put on notice.


GW Transfers: Two (Cantwell in, Gundogan out; Pukki in, Joelinton out).
GW Points: 65.
Overall Points: 183.
Overall Ranking: 467,479.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


3rd: Dinga’s Ringers – Martin ‘King Ding’ Bell.

Gameweek three, and already the King is closing in on his throne. What’s ominous for the other contenders is that it normally takes Dinga’s Ringers until October to really get going, yet they are already in the top three and we’re not even out of August. He also enjoys the advantage of a Wildcard chip over the managers above him. This week, King Ding used only one of two free transfers available to him, making a tactical switch of Lundstram in for Kelly, reasoning Lundstram has greater long-term use in the squad. Captaining Sterling over Salah proved to be a hindrance to his final score, as did starting Deulofeu over Wilson up front, but the King will be philosophical about that, and the Pedro warm-up injury that resulted in Barkley starting and Wilson not coming in. Will be considering whether to stick with Barkley and Perez, with Deulofeu another one potentially due for the chop ahead of a tough run of fixtures. With two free transfers, there are options for King Ding, despite his squad value being lower than everyone bar Rodallega Bombs and Wooden Spoon Helling. It wouldn’t be a surprise, mind, if the calculating King made just one transfer, and chose to keep one back for emergencies.


GW Transfers: One (Lundstram in, Kelly out).
GW Points: 51.
Overall Points: 184.
Overall Ranking: 422,737.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: None.


2nd: The Juggernauts – Jamie ‘Jeeves’ Ayers.

Second in the league after gameweek three, yet it’s hard to tell if the Juggernaut momentum is kicking in, or whether there’s a touch of chance to Jeeves’ position. Either way, the Hitmaster won’t be complaining, lying just eight points off the top spot. Unleashing his wildcard, the Juggernauts lined up with a very strong outfield selection, with Jeeves gambling that three bargain-basement subs will be enough to carry him through the coming gameweeks. Jeeves has been remarkably quiet about his no-Manchester United policy this season, and opted to include three of Solskjaer’s highly-inconsistent charges in his selection. With a return of just five points between them, were it not for Pukki and Sterling, the Juggernauts Wildcard would have gone down as a disaster. Jeeves seems to be trying to change his hit-heavy approach this season, but the combination of a weak subs bench and three Manchester United players suggest that the hits will be coming sooner, rather than later, perhaps starting with Rashford and either Wan-Bissaka or Wickham this week. Whether Jeeves can maintain his composure or not will be the key factor in determining if he can win a first League of Gentlemen title in four years.


GW Transfers: Wildcard.
GW Points: 47.
Overall Points: 185.
Overall Ranking: 381,256.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Wildcard (GW3).


1st: Dazzlers – Darren ‘Deadly Daz’ Lawes.

Against all the odds, Deadly Daz tops the table for the second week running, extending the gap over second in the process. A transfer of Mina for Chilwell resulted in a gain of only one point, though Chilwell’s injury suggests this transfer will pay dividends in the coming weeks. Returns from Sterling, Salah, de Bruyne and Pukki led the Dazzlers to a 51-point gameweek. The big mistake was captaining Rashford over Salah; that one decision costing Deadly Daz a 23-point lead at the top. There was perhaps a touch of inexperience in the captaincy selection, and it will be interesting to see if the Dazzlers will choose to share the armband between Sterling and Salah in the coming weeks. Given those two players will likely end the season as the top FPL points scorers, by some margin, it would be a logical strategy which would lead to much success, while limiting his rival’s chances of launching a comeback. The only real cause for concern is the lack of cover on the bench; with £0.4m in the bank, bringing in Lundstram for Heise this week would be a very shrewd move indeed. With sensible captaincy choices and transfers, the rest of the division could find it hard to recover from the ol’ razzle-dazzle, and a fairytale start could become the greatest upset story in the history of the League of Gentlemen.


GW Transfers: One (Mina in, Chilwell out).
GW Points: 51.
Overall Points: 193.
Overall Ranking: 178,714.
Total Hits Taken: None.
Chips Used: Wildcard (GW2).


After a week where the captaincy choices caused dismay for most and tremendous advantages for a few, the League of Gentlemen managers will be more conservative with their choices next time out. With just a Salah captaincy separating first from twelfth, the league is still wide open, and composure will be critical in the coming weeks. Yet, the tactical hit could lead to great reward for a select few managers, especially with the likes of Pukki, Barnes, Haller, Abraham and Joelinton finding their shooting boots from the £7m-and-under strikers. As the options grow, so too will the variance between the contestants, and we wait with baited breath to see what line-ups the managers send out at the weekend. May your transfers and captaincy choices be successful, and may the FPL Gods forever be in your favour.