Gameweek 36: Heartaches and Record Breaks

In one of the most memorable gameweeks in the history of FPL, seasons were made and destroyed and records were shattered. Meanwhile, the Dragon had the chance to claim the Gentlemen’s Trophy with a second-straight victory.
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In Gameweek 26, Mohamed Salah scored 28 points, given those who used their Triple Captain chip on him a colossal 84 points from one player, 84 points that I wrote, ‘we may well have to wait years to see equalled or bettered.’ We only had to wait ten gameweeks before Kevin de Bruyne shattered that score, single-handedly scoring ninety points for those who Triple Captained him and leaving those without him in their squads grateful it wasn’t far, far worse.

Luckily for myself, nobody in the League of Gentlemen played their Triple Captain chip on the mercurial midfielder. The problem was, I did not own him at all, while both Jockin’ Jeeves and Go Cartin named him their captain. I gave the armband to Salah, and watched in horror as his underperformance since Gameweek 26 – except for, of course, the one gameweek I had Free Hit him out – continued. Scoring just two points against Spurs was frustrating, but not the end of the world. Being benched for the second time in three matches against Villa was a complete disaster, leaving my captain being my lowest-scoring player of fifteen available. The brutal variance from coin-toss decisions in recent gameweeks punished me yet again, harsher than ever. Had I brought de Bruyne in for Salah on my Gameweek 34 Wildcard, I would be 78 points better off from just three gameweeks. A seventy-eight point swing based on which talisman was preferred. It’s a devastating impact, one made even more spectacular when you consider de Bruyne didn’t feature at all in Gameweek 35.

Though de Bruyne’s booking in the first match of the gameweek meant he ultimately fell three points short of matching Harry Kane’s highest-ever individual gameweek score in FPL (93 points obtained with the Triple Captain chip), and two points short of Wayne Rooney’s record non-captaincy score of 32 points (achieved before the Triple Captain chip was introduced), it was a stunning score that reverberated throughout the League of Gentlemen, creating some of the greatest highs and most devastating lows. For Flash Funk, it fired him six places up the table into the top half, offering a sense of respectability to a season that looked to have been derailed by a woeful start. For Ginger Ben, it appears to have ended any hopes of finishing in the medal places. Having used his Free Hit to bring in Mahrez and Jesus, he was crushed to see a combined total of just three points from the two attackers, while Sterling finished just two points behind de Bruyne as Manchester City ran riot. With the two managers directly ahead of him both captaining de Bruyne and his own men failing to perform, it leaves him over a hundred points away from the bronze medal, with surely too little time to turn it around.

For Go Cartin, de Bruyne’s huge haul meant a moment of history, as he became the first Gentleman to ever enter the Hundred Club four times in one season. When you consider he also scored over a hundred points in a fifth gameweek, only to fall back below the threshold once his transfer hit was factored in, it showcases what a special season the League of Gentlemen debutant is having. With two finishes just outside the top-100k in the last three seasons, he now finds himself just nine places off a five-figure finish. With a medal place seemingly secured, the challenge now is for him to finally end his sixteen-year struggle and take that final step, and because of de Bruyne, he has every opportunity. He wasn’t the only Gentleman to enter the Hundred Club, with a total of sixteen managers passing the ton mark, a total only bettered in the history of the division by Gameweek 26’s twenty-one centurions.

For myself, it was a gameweek that will be remembered for years to come. From the ashes of de Bruyne’s fire, the Lords rose like a phoenix, putting in a performance that, should the title be secured, will be seen as the defining one of the season. Despite the absence of the gameweek’s star men and with a captain who scored just six points in total, my boys stood firm, and took everything Jockin’ Jeeves threw at me. With every goal de Bruyne scored, one of my lads stepped up to match it. My much-maligned double Chelsea defence secured two clean sheets and an assist. Mount, Laporte and Cancelo hit double-figures, and though they were shared by Jeeves, they protected my overall rank. The real heroes were Foster and Nketiah, who scored 29 points between them on my Bench Boost to inspire my substitutes to an additional 38 points for my total – a personal best from that chip. And then, in the gameweek’s final match, Heung-Min Son created one and scored another to take me to a final gameweek score of 144 points.

Somehow, with an ineffective captain and with my rival’s main man running riot, the Lords had withstood it all. With seven players hitting double figures, my boys equalled the division’s greatest-ever gameweek score, the one set by Uncaged Bage and Stone Cold Stephen Levins earlier in the season. Under the highest pressure imaginable, my boys outscored Jockin’ Jeeves to extend my lead to 92 points. When their manager felt like everything was falling apart and my dreams were in the dust, my boys fought, scratched and clawed to keep the dream alive, and in doing so, we broke the League of Gentlemen’s record points total for a season.

At the start of the campaign, when I announced this would be my final attempt to complete the King’s Quest, all I hoped for was to be in with a chance going into the Final Day. At most, I thought that if I gave a good account of myself, if I showed progression and improvement, then even if the trilogy did not end with glory, at least it would end with a sense of hope. I never expected this. I could barely even contemplate the idea of challenging for the title; I never dared believe I would become the highest-scoring manager in the history of the division. Yet, I have surpassed the Dragon’s 2,467 points from last season, and I now stand top of the all-time points total list with 2,483 points. I can barely believe it, and I am not too proud to admit it is a special moment for me.

However, the FPL Nightmare is not over. The King’s Quest is not complete. There are two gameweeks remaining, and Jockin’ Jeeves still has two chips to play. I have no weapons left to enhance my chances. All I have is the team I end Gameweek 36 with, two free transfers to make and two captains to pick. Jeeves has fifteen players in one gameweek, and potentially thirty-two players in the other, when you factor in a double-gameweek captain’s score doubling. Ninety-two points is a big lead. I can only hope it will be enough.
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We are on the precipice of a truly magical accomplishment, yet hanging over our head, like the Sword of Damocles, is the potential for the most devastating FPL Nightmare imaginable. I’ve never known pressure like this in all my life.
 

The Cup Chronicles

Also feeling the strain was Hitman Hodgson, who entered the second round of the three-gameweek final knowing that there was no margin for error; to be outscored by the Dragon would cost him the Gentlemen’s Trophy and condemn him to a lifetime of regret. Both brothers took a transfer hit, both played the Bench Boost, and both wasted their captaincy on Salah. The top three scorers of the tie were Son, Nketiah and Cancelo, and all three players were owned by both managers. Both emerged in profit from their transfer hit, with Nketiah the key signing for both, while Alonso secured the Dragon seven points and Schmeichel scored the Hitman eight. Maddison, Justin and Dennis brought in combined seventeen points for both, while the battle between the Dragon’s Sa and the Hitman’s Pope ended in a tie. The Hitman’s heart started pounding when Gelhardt, Saka, Robertson and Laporte scored 22 points, but Alexander-Arnold, Matip and Watkins tied the score, then Dubravka pushed the Dragon one point ahead. Gordon secured the Dragon five points, but Rudiger found seven points to move the Hitman just two points clear. It all came down to the battle of the creative midfielders, and the tension grew greater when both were benched for the first game of the double, but Coutinho rose from the bench to steal a point back for the Dragon. Both midfielders started the second game, and a goal and assist were both registered. They both went to Mason Mount, who outscored Coutinho by ten points to give the Hitman the victory, levelling the series and sending the final into a deciding gameweek.
 
Gentlemen’s Trophy, Grand Final, Match Two score:

Dan the Dragon 108 – 120 Hitman Hodgson
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​Gameweek Round-Up

The Irrelevants

Grinchy Vogt continued his usual maximum-hit approach, but in a twist to the tale, chose to bring in fifteen players who would play. With twenty points from captain Rodri, seventeen from Trossard and thirteen from Mount, the basis of a good gameweek was there, but Ayling’s red card and some poor performances elsewhere meant another negative score for the Grinch. Also suffering from the Ayling sending-off was Wooden Spoon Helling, but 58 points from Spurs trio Dier, Son and captain Kane inspired a 95-point total that took him above Who Horner into 35th place. Daredevil Daisy suffered a chastening experience, scoring the lowest total of the high-scoring gameweek and dropping three places as a result, below Iceman Newton, Wildman Whitfield and Slick Rick, who rose three places to 29th. Also rising three places was the Masterchef, who smashed home a de Bruyne-inspired 123 points to move to 25th.

​The Ox was so close to a record-breaking gameweek score, but lost out on 45 points by giving his Triple Captain chip to Kane, rather than de Bruyne. Nevertheless, his Hundred Club entry moved him four places higher to 21st, just eleven points off Flash Funk in twentieth. Sirloin Sean took a sixteen-point hit that broke even, but leaves him better off for Gameweek 37 and also a place higher in the table, while Deadly Daz climbed two places in the table and broke a century despite making no transfers and leaving Foster and Toney’s nineteen points on the bench. Big Steve took a twelve-point hit and rose above two other twelve-point hitters into twelfth place, 22 points behind Brad the Lad, who made up thirty points on Stone Cold Stephen Levins. Despite failing to reach the Hundred Club, Stone Cold closed the gap to Red Hot Rob to just three points, but both managers face a struggle to make the Elite after all but one manager ahead of them secured a three-figure score.

The Elite

The one manager in the Elite who failed to reach a century was fourth-place Ginger Ben, a situation that is deeply disappointing when on a Free Hit in such a high-scoring gameweek. Had the gamble on Jesus and Mahrez paid off, he could be chasing down Go Cartin for the bronze medal; instead, he faces a desperate fight to maintain his current position, with the four Elite managers behind him all Bench Boosting and making up considerable ground. With eighth-place King Ding making up 26 points to leave himself just 43 points behind and the fifth-place Dragon only eight points adrift, the final two gameweeks hold so much peril for the Mackem Messiah, who has so much to lose and only personal bests to gain. The Hitman’s cup final performance saw him climb above Mighty Mouse into sixth, and though he is 22 points behind Ginger Ben, the intensity of the deciding round of the Gentlemen’s Trophy final could well inspire them both to climb the table in Gameweek 37, while Mighty Mouse still has a Triple Captain chip to play.
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The identities of those who will finish in the medals seem set; the only question is which order they finish. Go Cartin will keep fighting, but will know that the 120 points he needs to make up to finish top is probably too much without any chips to play. He harbours more hope of achieving the silver medal, with Jockin’ Jeeves only 28 points ahead; the problem he has is that Jockin’ Jeeves has both a Free Hit and a Bench Boost to play. The order he plays those chips is hard to determine, with both remaining gameweeks offering strong arguments for the Free Hit to be deployed. You have to wonder if he was going to use his Bench Boost this gameweek, before rumours began spreading that Guaita and Mateta were likely to miss out. Whatever his thinking, he has a strong hand to play over the final two gameweeks, and his focus will be squarely on achieving the most incredible turnaround in the history of the World’s Greatest Mini-League. 92 points is a huge deficit to make up in two gameweeks, but if the last few gameweeks have taught us anything, it’s that the points are there if you can capture them. That he managed to outscore Go Cartin by fourteen points and Ginger Ben by 46 points this gameweek, when both men were on a Free Hit and had their pick of the players available, offers a reminder of the risks of a squad overhaul. Still, given the choice, you’d rather have chips available in these circumstances, and the two-time champion has two tricks up his sleeve.
 

The Man Who Would Be King

Nine years of failing at Fantasy Premier League, three years of chronicling my FPL Nightmare and striving to complete the King’s Quest, and it all comes down to the next two gameweeks. The pressure is so great that it is consuming my life; my university grades have dropped by an average of fifteen marks, I can barely sleep at night through obsessing over the game and my teeth constantly ache from grinding them in tension. It seems obscene that something like FPL can have such an impact on people, yet it’s one of the greatest things about life that things so small can come to mean so much, and right now, nothing means as much as this. It’s no longer just a game; it’s three years of writing 120,000 words-plus a season in an attempt to create something special, hoping that the archiving of my attempts can inspire me to achieve something I never really thought I could. Somehow, this niche game and happenstance have combined to deliver a perfect narrative; now, with only two gameweeks to go, everything is on the line. I never really thought I could win this league; when I started this series, I had never even finished in the top-500k before. Now, I’m ranked 8,625 in the world. I never believed I could become the champion; now, I have the highest points ever in the division, I’m 92 points clear of a man I respect more than almost anyone on the planet, and I’m so, so close to the finishing line. Every writer dreams of crafting the perfect finale to a monumental saga. Whatever happens, this story will have its epic conclusion. I only hope the tale being told is a modern-day fairytale, rather than a Shakespearean tragedy. Two gameweeks to go.
 
 
That concludes our review of Gameweek 36 of the League of Gentlemen, which saw the Hitman level the scores in the Gentlemen’s Trophy final, which saw Kevin de Bruyne turn FPL on its head and which saw the Lords take the division into unchartered scoring territory. Ahead of Gameweek 37, may all your transfers be successes, may all your arrows be green, and may the FPL Gods be in your favour.