Gameweek Eighteen: Santa Clawes is Succumbing to Townhead

With the gameweek left in chaos after the cancellations of five games, Lord Geord was left with a severely weakened squad, a situation which opened the door for the chasers to crank up the pressure.
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Ahead of the traditional Festive Frenzy, the League of Gentlemen is enjoying a period of Christmas carnage, with fixtures being called off left, right and centre and teams being decimated as a result. For some managers, this has proven a great opportunity, with Go Cartin and Jockin’ Jeeves in particular making some huge gains on top spot, and Big Steve marching into the Elite and planting his flag. For others, it has proven a December disaster, as the lottery of last-minute abandonments leaving managers struggling to field a full team.

It’s a situation that has hit me particularly hard, with my thirty-five-point lead slashed to just three points over the last two gameweeks. After the Dennis debacle in Gameweek Seventeen, this gameweek saw me lose almost all of my attacking differentials, with only Bernardo Silva – deployed as a deep-lying playmaker – and the injured and rotated Allan Saint-Maximin to provide alternative forward power. With new signing Lacazette the preferred signing of both my rivals too, due to the security of his position, it became a gameweek of survival for my Lords, and we managed to do so by the skin of our teeth, those three points giving us our first-ever Christmas Number One. While this is a seemingly-minor achievement, last year’s Christmas Number One was Dan the Dragon, who turned his 29-point lead into an 89-point final victory, but not before first losing top spot in the subsequent gameweeks. That is a precedent I hope to follow, and one that gives me a glimmer of hope amid a brace of gameweeks that have delivered some hammer blows.

Interestingly, last season saw Jockin’ Jeeves blow away the Man Who Would Be King’s score in the gameweek before Christmas, before ending the season 128 points off the title. Two seasons ago, the Rap Rob Roy found himself second at Christmas to a Newcastle fan, before finishing the season a hundred points behind him – a season in which I outscored the Juggernaut post-Christmas. Whether these statistics are mere quirks or portents of doom for the Townhead Gunner, only time will tell. For now, they serve merely as a comfort blanket for a league leader who is feeling the pressure like never before, and is being hunted down by the man he fears the most.

What I really hope for is for the Premier League to respond to the spate of abandonments by shutting down until the FA Cup third round, a situation that would see the next three gameweeks rearranged for a later date. While that seems increasingly unlikely, the talk is that Gameweek Twenty may be rearranged in full. That’s not something that would bring an end to the chaos, given that we could well see more abandonments in Gameweek Nineteen, and my squad has been hit hard by the misfortune of happenstance thus far. All I can hope is that, should Gameweek Nineteen go ahead, I can get more of my attackers on the field, and I can start looking to gameweeks as a chance to push on ahead from my rivals, rather than holding them off. With such uncertainty, all planning has gone out of the window, and all that remains is last-minute punts on unwanted players. It’s a tough predicament, but the King’s Quest was never going to be easy.
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And that, I suppose, is what I must remember. The plan was to be in the title hunt at the end of Gameweek Nineteen, the halfway point of the season. As it stands, I will enter that gameweek top of the table, and even if a new name occupies first place, I still have the opportunity to complete the challenge laid down to me three years ago. With Salah registering his first blank since Gameweek Two, it opens the door for alternative captaincy choices to be seriously considered, something which promises to open the game right up. The players who have missed out this gameweek will, hopefully, see their games rearranged soon, and I already have them in my squad, whereas others will need to tailor their transfer policies or use their chips to bring them in. And still, against all the odds and defying my own history, I have abstained from taking transfer hits. I strongly considered a hit this gameweek, to bring in either Tomiyasu or Tierney for Livramento. Had I brought in Tierney, I would have lost two points, and found myself just one ahead of Jeeves. Had I brought in Tomiyasu, I would only be two points further ahead, while being stuck with another player who went off injured. It was a coin-toss, which could have went either way, and ultimately I think I’ll be better off long-term for having maintained my transfer discipline.

So, up next is the Festive Frenzy. Three rapid-fire gameweeks which so often prove a turning point in the season, this time being played under a shroud of uncertainty and insecurity. Squads could be decimated post-deadline, with no possibility of adapting. People may see dramatic rises and falls in their ranking based on circumstances out of their control. The Gentlemen must prostrate themselves before the FPL Gods and hope that mercy is afforded, and that they have the chance to impact proceedings with as many games played as possible. There remains a chance the Frenzy will be diminished, and possibly even cancelled. There’s nothing we can do about that. All we can do is ensure we are as ready as possible, and hope that Christmas Day does not give way to a festive FPL Nightmare. It promises to be the most frantic Festive Frenzy to date, and I, for one, am incredibly nervous.
 

The Cup Chronicles

Also taking place during the Festive Frenzy is the Gentlemen’s Classic Grand Final. Scheduled to take place over Gameweeks Nineteen and Twenty, should one or both of those gameweeks end up having no fixtures, it will be played over the following gameweek that has fixtures played. It is not an ideal situation, but it is the fairest way to do it. Contesting that final will be Big Steve, who annihilated The Ox by 46 points, and Jockin’ Jeeves, who blew away Ginger Ben by 47 points. They were two ties that were expected to be close, and perhaps would’ve been, had the fixtures taken place as scheduled. However, with such disruption to the teams, luck played a larger factor in proceedings than originally anticipated, affording the Butcher and the Townhead Gunner an easier ride to the Grand Final. It is a final that promises so much, with Jockin’ Jeeves riding high in the table and with a score to settle with the Butcher, who has outranked him two seasons running. Big Steve has already beaten Jockin’ Jeeves twice in this year’s competition, which makes him the bookie’s favourite to triumph, but Jockin’ Jeeves is the man in form, is higher in the table and has a point to prove. It’s a tantalising clash, and it promises to give us a final for the ages.
 
Gentlemen’s Classic, Semi-Final results:
 
Big Steve 139 – 93 The Ox
Ginger Ben 105 – 152 Jockin’ Jeeves
 
Gentlemen’s Classic, Grand Final:
 
Big Steve vs Jockin’ Jeeves
 
In the Eliminator, I came so very close to being kicked out of the competition for the second gameweek running, underlining the issues my team has had in dealing with the fixture cancellations. As it turned out, it was those cancellations which saved me, as both Mighty Mouse and Terminator Tris had already brought in Aston Villa players. By delaying my transfers, I was able to bring in Lacazette instead, and his five points were the ones that took me four points clear of the two men who were Eliminated, both with score of 53 points.
My survival means I have made it through the double-Eliminations phase of the competition, along with eight other competitors. The Final Nine now compete over the next eight gameweeks to determine who will earn the title of the Eliminator, with one Gentleman eliminated each gameweek. Again, should an entire gameweek be postponed, that round of the Eliminator will move to the subsequent gameweek. With defending champion Ginger Ben still in the competition, it promises to be a gripping conclusion to the most arduous tournament in all of FPL.

Gameweek Round-Up

The Irrelevants

Lethal Lee finds himself lonely at the bottom at Christmas, with Wooden Spoon Helling’s 31 points moving him eight points clear in fortieth place. Those two Gentlemen will compete for last place for the rest of the season, with third-bottom Slick Rick 121 points clear of the basement battle. Flash Funk continued his fightback this gameweek, scoring 51 points. While it led to no positional change, it did mean he made up at least 24 points on the three teams above him, positioning him as a strong favourite to rise through the ranks in the Festive Frenzy. Moving up the Irrelevants, there were small rises for Maverick Mikey, Stone Cold, Professor Storey and the Rough Rider, and we also saw Mack Daddy McMahon, The Ox, Private Parvesh and the Masterchef rise at the expense of Daredevil Daisy and Killer Kev. The Masterchef will be particularly pleased to have made it into the top twenty for Christmas, and while Sirloin Sean continues to heat up, Grinchy Vogt and Iceman Newton are freezing cold, and the Masterchef will be hoping to skewer them over the next three gameweeks, as well as Big-Time Birkett, who used a Free Hit to rise above the Grinch but now finds himself a chip down with so much uncertainty in the fixture list still to come.
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In the upper reaches of the Irrelevants, Deadly Daz made a brave call in captaining Cancelo, one that paid off with a huge 36-point haul which led to a two-place rise in the table and making up ground on everyone up to King Ding in the Elite. It’s a decision which could reignite the Dazzler’s confidence, and a good Festive Frenzy could get him right back in the mix. It could have been even better if he hadn’t wasted three transfers and a -4 on bringing in three players who didn’t have games, but the Dazzler is an instinct player, and that instinct in captaining Cancelo more than made up for his transfer tragedy. The slow-burn climb up the table of Terminator Tris continued despite is defeat in the Eliminator. The newcomer to the division is now up to twelfth, just 22 points off the Elite. Blocking his path are Red Hot Rob, who fell to eleventh, and the Hodgson brothers, who both used their Free Hits. The Dragon’s was the most successful, with the bizarre omission of Alexander-Arnold from the Hitman’s line-up proving costly, but it is the Hitman who still holds the advantage, nine points ahead and only outside of the Elite because of the amount of transfers he has made.
 

The Elite

Holding onto his place in the Elite is King Ding, who will rarely lose in the transfer tiebreaker, having only taken one hit in two-and-a-half seasons. The King suffered the only positional fall outside of the Irrelevants, with his decision to avoid transfer hits leaving him with only eight players and opening the door for the Butcher to move thirty points ahead. It was Manchester City’s defence that he had to thank, with Dias and Cancelo contributing the thirty points that moved him clear in seventh, and which also slashed the gap to Ginger Ben above him by nineteen points. Indeed, the three players ahead of him were the only three to take transfer hits in the Elite, and the only three not to make up any ground on myself at the top. The big winners this gameweek were Go Cartin and Jockin’ Jeeves, who made up twelve and ten points on top spot respectively, with Alonso, Smith-Rowe and Raphinha proving more effective than my Rudiger and Saint-Maximin. There was a touch of fortuity for Jockin’ Jeeves in that Alonso only entered the fray due to Foden playing no part, but his decision to ensure he had an outfield substitute by bringing in Lacazette for Antonio meant going without a goalkeeper. That choice was a bold one, and the Rap Rob Roy was rewarded for his courage. Now just three points off the top, having made up thirty-seven points in two gameweeks, he is the man with the momentum entering the Festive Frenzy, and is the favourite to occupy pole position by the Frenzy’s end.
 

The Man Who Would Be King

Though I could use the fixture abandonments as an excuse, ultimately, I only have my own sense of caution to blame for my lead evaporating. In Bernardo Silva, Dennis and Lacazette, my last three transfers have been defensive ones, designed to limit the sting of my rivals rather than push my own team forward. While there is merit to owning all three – Bernardo had just scored 49 points in five gameweeks, Dennis had 44 points in five gameweeks and freed up transfer funds and Lacazette was the best option up front this gameweek because of the reliability of his appearance – they were not bought out of proactive thinking, and that has opened the door for my lead to be cut. The challenge now is changing this defensive mindset and going on the attack, because in order to become a champion, I have to play like one. What I could really do with is Saint-Maximin starting to produce, because if he can, he has a run of fixtures that could save me a transfer, and consistency has proven to be my greatest differential so far. It’s also important not to succumb to defeatism. I am having the best season of my career, and – despite my struggles in the league – I rose further in the overall rankings, to 79,284 in the world. It is time to be more proactive, and to aim to climb those rankings. Focusing on my own game, rather than that of others, is my best avenue to success. Let’s hope the Festive Frenzy can be the start of that.
 
 
That concludes our round-up of Gameweek Eighteen, which saw the Gentlemen’s Classic finalists be determined, which saw Deadly Daz demonstrate the potential power of switching from Salah as captain, and which saw Go Cartin and Jockin’ Jeeves close in on top spot after thriving amid the carnage of cancellations. Ahead of the Festive Frenzy, may all your transfers be successes, may all your arrows be green, and may the FPL Gods be in your favour.