Gameweek Fifteen: ‘Tis The C-Son To Be Jolly

The gameweek’s top scorers were those with the courage to captain one of the Sons, Heung-Min or Wil, leaving the rest of the Gentlemen wondering if it’s time to stop playing it safe with Salah in the race for glory.
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Now the season gets a little more interesting. With Salah failing to hit double-figures for the fifth time in six gameweeks, the door is opening for those prepared to step through it and take a chance on captaining alternative options, with the four men who captained Son among the five top scorers of the gameweek, and the other Gentlemen in the top five captaining Wilson. With such tight margins in various areas of the division, an alternate captain to Salah affords the opportunity to make up huge ground. The gameweek’s highest-scorer, Killer Kev, leapt nine places in the table, making up huge ground on the Gentlemen still above him in the process and continuing his incredible recent form. Stone Cold Stephen Levins and the Wilson-captaining Deadly Daz both finished the gameweek three places higher, while the Masterchef climbed five rungs on the ladder. Meanwhile, the other top-five scorer, Hitman Hodgson, saw his bravery rewarded by finally reaching the Elite, after several gameweeks of flirting with the possibility.

There is, of course, risks with taking these gambles, which early-season pacesetter Grinchy Vogt and defending champion Dan the Dragon have found out to their cost. Both men have continued to captain Kane, despite him only securing returns in one game this season, and that decision continued to punish them, with both men failing to reach the forty-point mark and dropping further in the standings as a result. Grinchy Vogt has faded from people’s minds in recent gameweeks, with his opening run of form now being dismissed as a flukey quirk. It’s perhaps a harsh assessment, but given that he continues to make illogical decisions both in the transfer market and on the pitch, it’s perhaps a sign that he has been hoisted by his own petard, and punished by the FPL Gods for his brashness and arrogance. For the Dragon, his choice resulted in him being dumped out of the Elite by his brother, the Hitman. While there can be no doubting the pedigree of the Champ, questions are being raised as to whether he is suffering from the same burnout that affected King Ding last season, and he needs to find his form quickly before his dreams of a successful title defence fall by the wayside.

Speaking of King Ding, it has not gone unnoticed that he is starting to climb the table, and is gaining momentum with every gameweek that passes. Though he lost his crown last season, he still holds the incredible record of never having gone two seasons without winning the League of Gentlemen, and it’s a record he is quietly putting himself in a position to defend. Much like Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United teams he grew up on, the King traditionally starts slow and grows into the season, and this campaign is proving no exception. His rise through the ranks continued in Gameweek Fifteen, with his 56 points seeing him leapfrog both the Grinch and the Dragon into ninth position. What is more pertinent is that he made up another eight points on top spot, building on the 22-point gain he made in Gameweek Fourteen. Long-term readers and the legacy managers will all remember the King’s incredible come-from-behind victory in 2019-20, where he overcame a 119-point deficit to Big Steve to win the title by 27 points on the Final Day. Though he is eight positions away from the top at the moment, he is only 77 points off his target this time out, with a comparable amount of gameweeks remaining as there was in that historic season. I fully expect to see the King rise further in the ranks in the coming gameweeks, and wouldn’t be surprised if he emerged from the upcoming Festive Frenzy in the top five.

Another former champion starting to make his presence felt is Jockin’ Jeeves, who saw Broja rise off his bench to ensure twelve points were gained on the Man Who Would Be King. He will be ruing his decision to stick with safe Salah as captain, having extensively toyed with the idea of giving the armband to Son in the days leading up to the transfer deadline. Jez Messing was able to gain access to the Townhead Gunners’ fabled Fair Hill training facility by pretending to be a scientist, experimenting with an artificial type of grass that deters dogs from fouling on the pitch. Using the claims of potential toxic fumes as a cover for wearing a full gas mask to obscure his face, Messing planted secret bugs and cameras in various locations around the facility. From those, he claims that Hot Rod remonstrated with the Rap Rob Roy all week about the folly of switching the captaincy. ‘You’re not living in the real world,’ came the familiar admonishment. ‘You know that the Lord will go with Salah. The Gunners are good enough elsewhere to make up ground, but if you go against Salah, he could score twenty points. Look what happened to the Grinch when he got clever.’ Messing’s report goes even further, claiming that Jeeves was set in his decision to go with Son until the morning of the deadline. Having been kept up all night by his howling wolf-dog, Big Cas, he was in no fit state to argue when new club chairman Robin Johnson showed up in the dressing-room. Johnson’s influence has been felt in recent gameweeks, with Jeeves ordered to keep one free transfer in the bank at all times since his twelve-point hit debacle in Gameweek Eleven. That influence was shown again, after the millionaire backer demanded Salah be retained as captain. ‘You know me, I’m a fair man,’ Messing allegedly recorded him saying. ‘But I am not letting you run this team like the Grinch runs his. We are in this competition to win, not to implode at the first sign of trouble and throw our chances away. You will not pin all your hopes and dreams on the hit-and-miss Heung-Min Son.’ Though the Juggernaut relented to Johnson’s demands, the points lost through not backing his own judgement could be all the fuel needed to re-take control of the Townhead Massive, and we could well see a shift in policy next time out.

As for the Lords, it’s been a positive gameweek, on the whole. We ended the first day of the gameweek second to Ginger Ben, but we still had our big-hitter to play, and when he did, the Son shined on us and took us back top. We did see Jockin’ Jeeves make up ground, and his mental hold over me means that I am feeling the pressure of him closing the gap to 22 points. However, the save point Ramsdale secured in stoppage-time of the gameweek’s final match meant we outscored Ginger Ben for the first time in six gameweeks. One point may not seem much on the surface, but in the bigger picture, it is that one point which signifies the shift in momentum. Though he is sixteen points closer to me than Jockin’ Jeeves, it is the Juggernaut that causes me the most concern, especially given Johnson’s impact on proceedings. However, with two free transfers to use in Gameweek Sixteen, it gives us the chance to shake up the squad a bit. Given Toney’s possible two-gameweek absence, Saint-Maximin’s tough fixtures and the continued form and decent fixture list of cheaper options Dennis, Broja and King, we are considering changing two-thirds of our attack and freeing up some funds in the process. However, it feels like a bit of a safe move, and my preference is to jump off Son and upgrade Gilmour, trading both for two of Bowen, Bernardo, Foden and Mount, and switching to a 4-5-1 or even a 3-5-2 formation. Doubling-up on Manchester City midfield and mitigating the possible damage of Pep Roulette has a huge appeal, but Bowen is the one that appeals most. I feel Mount may well end up with the most points of all four, but that his points will come with huge hauls followed by two or three quiet gameweeks, whereas the other three will tick over more frequently, but perhaps with a lower ceiling. I imagine I will end up with Bernardo and Bowen, before bringing in Broja or King for Saint-Maximin next week, but with the deadline three days away at the time of writing, I cannot say for sure. There is also still a chance I throw all my funds at Ronaldo, though I feel the sacrifice of quality I would have to make in midfield is not worth it. Still, fear of missing out is a terrible thing.
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The Cup Chronicles

You could not ask for more drama in the Gentlemen’s Classic than what it has served up. With the penultimate games of the second stage having taken place in Gameweek Fifteen, we now know exactly what each team requires to advance in Matchday Twelve, and though Sirloin Sean and Red Hot Rob are now eliminated, the rest of the teams couldn’t be more finely-poised. Group B saw The Ox continue his incredible cup form with a stunning victory over Ginger Ben, who was previously unbeaten in Stage Two. It was a game that swung on the choice of Manchester City midfielder owned, and even though Gundogan was awarded a fortuitous assist, Ginger Ben had no answer to the brilliance of Bernardo Silva. It was a result which meant only the winner of the other game would still be in contention, and Hitman Hodgson showed incredible heart to keep his dreams of remaining the Classic champion alive, thrashing Red Hot Rob by 24 points to keep within touching distance of qualification.
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In Group A, Jockin’ Jeeves easily defeated the disappointing Sirloin Sean, who took an eight-point hit that all but ended his slim hopes of staying alive. It meant the Dragon could secure his place in the Semi-Finals by avoiding defeat to Big Steve, but the Butcher had a point to prove after finishing second to the Dragon last season. It was a tie that swung on decisions made regarding one player, with Kane the key to success or failure. The Dragon’s captaincy of the Spurs striker left him staring defeat in the face, and the Butcher was only too happy to carve him up, using two free transfers to pivot from Kane to Alexander-Arnold and giving the armband to Salah. Those two choices gave the Butcher an increase of fourteen points to his gameweek score – the same fourteen points that gave him victory over the Dragon, and which sent him to the top of Group A, with only one game remaining.
 
Gentlemen’s Classic results, Matchday Eleven:
 
Dan the Dragon 39 – 53 Big Steve
Jockin’ Jeeves 60 – 35 Sirloin Sean
The Ox 53 – 47 Ginger Ben
Red Hot Rob 40 – 64 Hitman Hodgson

Group tables

Matchday Twelve permutations:
 
Group A: Dan the Dragon will qualify with a win. If he draws with Sirloin Sean, he will only advance if there is a winner between Big Steve and Jockin’ Jeeves.
The winner of Big Steve and Jockin’ Jeeves advances as group winner. If the match is a draw, they will both qualify if Dan the Dragon draws with Sirloin Sean, as both hold a Tiebreaker advantage over the Dragon. The loser of that match will still advance if Sirloin Sean beats the Dragon.
 
Group B: Ginger Ben has already qualified as group winner, because he holds the Tiebreaker advantage over The Ox. He will play the runner-up of Group A in the semi-finals.
The Ox advances with a win or a draw against Hitman Hodgson. For the Hitman’s defence of his crown to continue, he must defeat The Ox. Having already won the first encounter, he will advance by Tiebreaker with victory in Matchday Twelve.
Both Sirloin Sean and Red Hot Rob are eliminated from the competition, and have only pride to play for.
 
The cup exits didn’t end in the Classic for Red Hot Rob, with his forty points seeing him departing the Eliminator by just two points. He is joined by the Rough Rider, whose team had more players with one point or fewer than returns secured, and who leaves the competition with a whimper after a 34-point gameweek. With three gameweeks of double-Eliminations remaining, fifteen Gentlemen remain in contention to survive the toughest endurance test in all of FPL.

​Gameweek Round-Up

The Irrelevants

One of the most compelling sub-threads this season is proving to be the race to the bottom, with Wooden Spoon Helling finally gaining a comrade in incompetence. He is now tied at the bottom with Lethal Lee, with both men 81 points away from third-bottom Metal Marc. This is a pendulum that will continue to swing until the Final Day, and it is impossible to predict who will end up with the booby prize. Last year’s sixth-place finisher, Flash Funk, appears to have abandoned his team, with no transfers made for seven gameweeks after seeing his ranking decimated by the decision to sell Salah in Gameweek Three. Despite that, he is still above Lionheart Lamb, who continues to take hits and discover that the League of Gentlemen is a whole different kettle of fish to the amateur competitions he prefers to participate in. Daredevil Daisy’s enduring faith in Ronaldo continues to cost her, with a fall to 27th place this gameweek, though it is mitigated by the fact eight teams dropped in the rankings between 21st and 32nd, largely as a result of Killer Kev’s gameweek-high score of 84 points. Once of the few other Gentlemen to rise in this segment of the Irrelevants was The Ox, who is using his cup form as a springboard to climb the table and is now in 23rd place. The courageous captaincies of the Masterchef and Deadly Daz saw them rise to nineteenth and eighteenth respectively, with Terminator Tris and Big Steve also rising a place further up the table. At the top of the Irrelevants this gameweek is King Ding, whose 56 points may not have been spectacular, but was more than enough to leapfrog Grinchy Vogt and Dan the Dragon. With the gap closing on first place and just a point needed to reach the Elite, momentum is on the King’s side, and his campaign is starting to give off the same sort of vibes as those glorious years gone by. The teams above him will have to be at their very best to deny the return of the King.

The Elite

Falling one place to eighth is Ash the Bash, who will be relieved for the save point of Pope that kept him from fading back to Irrelevants. He is replaced in seventh by Hitman Hodgson, who will take as much pleasure from leapfrogging his champion brother as he will from finally escaping the Irrelevants. His captain Son-inspired 64 points established a thirteen-point cushion over Ash the Bash, allowing him to focus his energies on attacking those above him in the gameweeks to come. With Mighty Mouse, Go Cartin and the Chancellor all looking vulnerable this gameweek, the Hitman will look to assassinate them one by one. There are sixteen points to make up on Mighty Mouse, another sixteen on Go Cartin and a further eight on the Chancellor, so it will be a multi-gameweek mission, but one the Hitman is perfectly capable of completing. Jockin’ Jeeves may be just a single point ahead of the Chancellor, but it is a point that signifies the changing of the guard. With the Chancellor’s inexperience beginning to tell in a spate of transfer hits – 28 points-worth in six gameweeks – and the Rap Rob Roy showing signs of tightening up his own flaws in that regard, that one-point gap is only going to grow in the gameweeks ahead. It’s that sense of momentum which is causing Ginger Ben to be looking over his shoulder at the Gentleman sixteen points behind, rather than the target six points ahead. Having faded away last season when the pressure started to tell, the Ginger One is wary of history repeating; those nerves could be what ultimately put an end to a sterling run of good form, one which sees him retain second place in the table.

The Man Who Would Be King

For the third gameweek running, the Lords are on top, and making it even better is my lead being extended by a point. Like I say, it’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but as a momentum-switcher, it could prove the most important point of my season. Double-Chelsea defence continues to let me down, while I was disappointed with Arsenal being so poor against an Everton team that hadn’t won in eight gameweeks, before their late turnaround cost me a Ramsdale clean sheet. Gallagher still has yet to produce since I brought him in, though this gameweek was his toughest fixture – on paper, at least – until Gameweek 21’s clash with West Ham. My big mistake was leaving Antonio as second substitute; once Toney was ruled out with illness, it meant Livramento came into the fray, and it was a choice that cost me three points. Still, with two free transfers, I have the opportunity to stop defending my position and go on the attack, and it’s one I plan to grasp. I never expected to be anywhere near the top, so to end a third-successive gameweek as the Man Who Would Be King, with six points on Ginger Ben and Jockin’ Jeeves a further sixteen behind is massive for me. I don’t know how long this run will last, or whether I can end this saga by completing the King’s Quest and retiring as champion. All I know is that I’m going to do my very best. I have twenty-three gameweeks to go, and I’m going to take them one gameweek at a time, and hope that the FPL Gods look favourably on my efforts. Walking the King’s Road is the biggest challenge of my FPL career; I can only hope it leads me to salvation, and brings an end to my FPL Nightmare.
 
 
That concludes our round-up of Gameweek Fifteen, one which saw fortune favour (some of) the brave, which saw the Gentlemen’s Classic set up a sensational end to the group stages, and which saw Jockin’ Jeeves position himself as a major threat to my title hopes. Ahead of Gameweek Sixteen, may all your transfers be successes, may all your arrows be green, and may the FPL Gods be in your favour.
 
Gentlemen’s Classic fixtures, Gameweek Sixteen:
Jockin' Jeeves vs Big Steve
Dan the Dragon vs Sirloin Sean
Red Hot Rob vs Ginger Ben
The Ox vs Hitman Hodgson