The Greatest Day I've Ever Known

On Saturday, June 3rd, 2023, in a small ceremony at Gretna Green, my partner bestowed upon me the greatest honour and became my wife. It was a special day, and I wanted to tell you all about it, and all about the people who made it so special.

Four years to the day since we first met for lunch, then went to Carlisle cathedral, where we went into a big room and I remarked it was our first date and she had already walked me down the aisle, my partner and I did it for real. On Saturday, June 3rd, 2023, Hazel and I pledged our lives to each other. It was a truly magical day.
 
In a break from tradition, we spent the night beforehand together. It was unavoidable, really. She was working until gone midnight while I looked after the twins. By the time she returned home, it was too late to start worrying about finding somewhere else to stay. Still, in wanting to keep to tradition as much as possible, I refused to look at her in the morning, staggering around with my eyes closed to find my clothes, before waking the kids, giving them a big hug and going off to my mam’s house, to be greeted at 8.30am by the sight of my cousin’s young son twerking in his pyjamas outside! Any tension I felt evaporated immediately, and I knew it was going to be a great day.
 
We had a great morning. My Mam had gone off to get her hair done, but it was still a full house, with my dad through choice, my auntie, cousin and her son all there, fighting over one bathroom. We were later joined by my secret joint-best man, Martin ‘Dinga’ Bell, and my official best man, Jamie ‘Jeeves’ Ayers, who was, unsurprisingly, half an hour late. At least I’d had the foresight to tell him to be there half an hour earlier than he needed to be. We enjoyed some delicious sandwiches from Cranstons, then my mam returned, we got ready, took some photos and set off for Gretna.
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I think it’s worth explaining the whole ‘secret joint-best man’ thing. Dinga and Jeeves, they’ve been my two best mates since I was sixteen years old. I’d asked them both to be my best men, yet Dinga had declined, based on his thinking that I was closer to Jeeves, and (I think) his desire to avoid making a speech. My intention was always to split the duties between them, rather than asking them both to perform the same tasks, so I figured I’d just ask Dinga to do the things I was going to ask him to do anyway, without the pressure of the official title. He was happy to do them all, when free from the pressure of the best man label, and when I revealed my nefarious plot after his duties were fulfilled, it raised a wry chuckle.
 
The weather had forecast it to be humid and overcast, yet we were greeted with blazing sunshine the whole way there. Dinga, performing one of his secret best man duties, drove us both there, and as we parked up and made our way to the Famous Blacksmith’s Shop, we were greeted by our guests, all full of smiles. We didn’t have to be there until twenty to one, but I’d told everyone half-past twelve, to make sure everyone was there on time, and to give our photographer, Joshua Wyborn, time to take some photos of us before the ceremony. At about quarter to one, we were greeted by our vicar, Graeme Murray, and then we went into the room where we would take our vows.
 
We’d chosen the Famous Blacksmith’s Shop because of its history of nearly three centuries of love, romance and marriages. Though I’d seen photographs of the venue, I didn’t know what to expect when I first saw it in person. Entering the room, I felt a touch emotional. It was perfect. Small, intimate, and with raised levels behind us for the guests to stand on, making us all feel closer together. For me it felt right that those we love were on our level or watching over us, and the venue felt like the sort of place where people make meaningful commitments, ones that stand the test of time.
 
The vicar had a bit of banter with us while we waited, and I went over the music arrangements with the other person who was there, whose name I forget. As the minutes passed, people were joking that Hazel wasn’t going to show up, yet I met all their pitches with a straight bat. I had no doubt she’d be there. The only thing I was nervous about was the music playing correctly. Eventually, we saw Joshua come into the room beside ours, and the assistant came to turn the music on. Of course, it went slightly wrong! It turns out the case on the old phone I used for the music was blocking the cable into the speakers, so I had to dash forward and get the case off in order for the music to sound decent. As I re-took my place at the anvil, I looked to my brother and chuckled at how the one thing I was worried about had come to pass. I just have a sense of these things! The assistant pressed play again, and this time, it was perfect. To the beautiful melody of ‘Fields of Ard Skellig’ from our favourite game, The Witcher III: Wild Hunt, I looked to the door and saw first the twins, looking so grown up and beaming, then my father-in-law, Ian. Finally, after hours of preparation, months of organisation and years of anticipation, I lay my eyes upon my wife.
 
She was breathtakingly beautiful.

As I stood in the Famous Blacksmith’s Shop, vowing to devote my life to loving the most incredible person I’ve ever known to the best of my ability for the rest of my days, so many thoughts were running through my head. I thought about how, eight years ago, I was in a mental hospital, suffering from a psychosis that left me believing I had died and been transported to a literal hell. I thought about how the five people who dared walk into that hell to be with me and lead me out – my Mam, my Dad through choice, my brother, and my two best mates – sat with me through the worst days of my life, and were now stood beside me on the best.
 
I thought about my Grandma, who passed away last year, and how much she would have loved the ceremony, especially the traditional religious aspects of it. I thought about how some of the people in the room may have been surprised by those religious aspects, which were my choice, because after years of painting myself as an outsider and a rebel, on that day, in that venue, I wanted to feel part of something greater, something historic, something eternal, something that says it isn’t just about us swearing ourselves to each other, but of joining the greater covenant of love, one which has existed for millennia and will live on long after our souls leave our bodies.
 
I thought about how I wished cats could be a bit more like dogs, so that Denzel and Astrid could’ve been there with us instead of in the cattery, and I hoped they weren’t mad that we put our needs above theirs just this once. I thought about how Jack had positioned himself behind Ian, and wouldn’t be on the photos as a result, and how to politely reposition them both without disrupting the service. I thought about whether my phone was capturing the audio of the event to a high enough standard for the wedding video I’m going to make. I thought about how hot the room was, and whether my shirt would betray the fact I was sweating so much. I thought about so many things – some important, some trivial, some bizarre – so quickly, yet all of those thoughts paled in comparison to the realisation that my favourite person in the whole world was vowing to love me forever, and how damn blessed I am to live this life, a life I thought impossible eight years ago. A life only made possible by the love and support of everyone in that room with us.
 
We said our vows, exchanged our rings and had a little smooch, and then, to a violin version of 'Stand Inside Your Love' by the Smashing Pumpkins, we signed our paperwork upon the famous anvil in front of our witnesses - Hazel’s mother, Helen, and my secret joint-best man, Dinga. Throughout it all, I kept thinking about how perfect it all felt. All day, people had been asking me if I was nervous, and every time, I told them I wasn’t. Why would I be? Hazel is the best, she brings out my best, and we love each other dearly. The thought she wouldn’t show up never crossed my mind. She’s captivated me from the first moment I saw her, at a house party some 23 years ago. It took time for us to become the people we needed to be for each other, and to find each other again after our teenage romance failed to last. That time was time well spent, because it made us into the people we are, two people devoted to each other for the rest of time. It wasn’t nerves I felt, it was surety, safe in the knowledge I was exactly where I was meant to be, with the person I was meant to be with. It was a wonderful feeling.

The rest of the day was wonderful, too. Joshua took some sensational photos, which you can see online HERE (just enter your name and an email address), or you can wait for me to finish our wedding video. I’ll stick some of them at the bottom of this essay, too, and I’ll get some up on my socials at some point. We went to the Agricultural Hotel, where Gary, Wendy and the team put on a fabulous wedding breakfast for us. Ian and I made two heartfelt, emotional speeches, then Jeeves absolutely rinsed me to the amusement of everyone present. Then, it was off to our wedding reception, where we danced and drank the night away with so many of our friends and family. Our wedding reception host and DJ was Simon Vogt, who did an incredible job, and you can read more about that and my history with Simon HERE. Finally, as the night drew to a close, Jeeves ensured we got home safe and sound. A lazy Sunday later, my wife and I were off to Florence for the most special of honeymoons, but I’m going to save the stories of our Italian excursion for a later date.
 
As far as wedding days go, we couldn’t have asked for more. It was a perfect day, without a doubt the greatest day I have ever known. It was only possible thanks to the efforts and generosity of so many people. I will end this post by paraphrasing from my wedding speech:
 
To Jack and Tilly, you have been sensational with me from the moment I met you. Without your acceptance into your mam’s world, none of this would have been possible. You’re the absolute best, and it’s an honour, a blessing and a privilege to be a part of your life, and to now be your official stepdad. I love you both so much, and I can’t wait to see you grow up. Thank you.
 
To my new family, you have been so accommodating and welcoming to me since day one, and you have made me feel like all this was meant to be. Thank you.
 
To my cousins, aunties and uncles, nieces and new nephew, with whom I have shared so many bonding experiences and so much laughter.  I feel blessed to have been gifted the family I have. Thank you.
 
To Dinga, Jeeves and Nick, you three chose to love me not through any familial bond, but because of the person I was, the person I could be, and the person I have become. You have proven yourselves my brothers-in-arms. Thank you.
 
To Darren, my brother, you have been there for me from the first day of your life. You have always been my anchor in reality when my mind goes a-wandering through the metaphysical. From you I have learnt so much, and to you I owe so much more. Thank you.
 
To John, my dad through choice. You entered my life as all my troubles were beginning, you loved me when you didn’t have to, and you proved love is not an obligation, it is a choice. You are a great man, whom I strive to emulate in my family life. Thank you.
 
To Wendy, my mother, my guardian angel. You have been through so, so much to get me where I am today, and you have been a beacon of light amid the darkness. I hope you feel all your sacrifices for me were worth it. I’ve not always been the best son, but your love afforded me the chance to become a better man, one you can be proud of. Thank you.
 
In addition, I would like to offer particular words of gratitude to our parents – Wendy, John, Ian and Helen – for showing endless generosity with your money, time and efforts to make our wedding such a wonderful occasion; to Helen, for making such wonderful flowers for us and being Hazel’s witness; to my Mam, for helping so much with Hazel’s dress and hen party; to Jeeves, for being my official best man; to Dinga, for being my unofficial joint-best man and witness; to Ian and Jeeves for such wonderful and memorable speeches; to Kelly, for accentuating Hazel’s beauty with make-up so well; to Fiona and Kevin, for ensuring Hazel got there on time, and for taking me into your home twice now on holiday, something which I was terrified of right until the moment you welcomed me in; to Felicity, for making us two delicious and fantastic wedding cakes; to Clare, for all your work in preparing and setting up the decorations; to Gary and Wendy of the Agricultural Hotel, who made it a condition of sale that the pub had to remain open until June 4th, so as to host our wedding breakfast; to the Agricultural Hotel team, who went above and beyond to make our day special; to Simon Vogt, for everything you did in regards to the wedding; to Joshua Wyborn, whose photography skills were only exceeded by his kindness, patience and selflessness, and who put in extra hours for us to ensure we had photos of all of our special moments, something he didn’t have to do but for which I am so grateful; to Graeme Murray, who performed our ceremony with humour, grace and class, emphasising the magnitude of the commitment while making us at ease with it all, and infusing the day with the gravitas it deserved; to Jack and Tilly, for being such little stars throughout all this process, for giving us lots of hugs whenever we got stressed, and for helping your mam out on the day; to all of our guests, for sharing our day with us and making us feel both liked and loved; to all those who sent us cards and gifts, enabling us to have the most special trip away and to come back home to some wonderful treats which make us smile each day; to everyone who wasn’t there but who took the time to send us well-wishes and think of us; and especially to everyone who feels I haven’t yet thanked them enough or at all, for understanding that it’s so much to remember and any omission is accidental, and for forgiving me for not giving you the individual acknowledgement you unquestionably deserve.
 
Finally, I’d like to thank my new wife. So many years on from when I first saw you, you still take my breath away. I see you wearing that ring, and I know everything I’ve been through, all of it was worth it, because it brought me to you. Hazel, your heart is my home, and it is where I will stay, from this day until the end of my days. We’re going to have a wonderful life together. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me.
 
It was truly the greatest day ever, one which I will remember for the rest of my life. And the best thing is, it’s only the start of the most exciting adventure of all. I can’t wait to see where our story goes next.
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